Miscarriage – how to deal with loss?

Miscarriage It is invariably one of the saddest and most traumatic moments in a woman’s life. Coping with the pain, sadness and loss of the baby is a long and important process. Very often, Miscarriage It also has an impact on the relationship. Although nothing can erase loss, there are steps that can be taken in both the short and long term to help you get through this difficult period.

               What does miscarriage mean?

               Miscarriage or “miscarriage” means the loss of a baby, naturally, before the age of 20 weeks’ gestation. Approximately 20% of pregnancies end this way. Most often, Miscarriage is due to some genetic abnormality (chromosomal mutation). Many women experience feelings of guilt that are not right. Daily activities, careful exercise and going to work cannot lead to loss of the baby.[1]

(Here you can include a link to the previous article)

               Emotional consequences after miscarriage

               Emotional devastation after miscarriage can be very pronounced. Everyone can take the loss differently, but the most common emotions that ladies experience are the following:

  • Grief
  • Hopelessness
  • Sadness
  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Envy (most often towards other parents)
  • A strong feeling of loneliness (especially when there are parents in your circle of friends)

Although many other parents experience miscarriage, it usually does not erase emotional pain, but it can help you feel more comfortable and share your story.[2]

               Physical consequences after miscarriage

               In addition to the emotional consequences, you have to deal with after Miscarriage, there are also physical consequences that are on the agenda. The degree of recovery of your body depends on how much pregnancy you were in before The Loss of the Child. Since Miscarriage occurs before 20 weeks of gestation, this can vary greatly.

               Some women who have a regular cycle understand that they are Pregnant the moment their menstruation is late. Upon the occurrence of Early miscarriage recovery usually happens quickly – in a few weeks.

               Outside of this short period of time, miscarriage will require medical treatment. Your doctor will likely give you medication orally or vaginally to help clear your body of other materials. This can be painful and extremely emotional.

Your doctor will need to conduct a follow-up ultrasound to make sure all tissues are cleared to avoid complications. It’s nice for your partner or other close person to be there for support. [2,4]

Short-term steps to address the anguish of miscarriage

After  a miscarriage, the most important thing is to take care of yourself and allow yourself to experience your grief. We will offer some steps that can help in this process:

  • Express your emotions

Unfortunately, some families and friends tell women that they should not feel a sense of loss. This attitude is especially common when miscarriage occurs at the beginning of pregnancy, as happens most often. But early loss is not necessarily easier to cope with than the one that occurs later. Even if a woman is pregnant only for a short time,  her pregnancy may have been planned for years.

If you are a woman who has experienced a miscarriage, remember that your feelings are normal. In addition, some women are affected more strongly than others. Allow yourself to experience the grief process in your own way and at your own pace. It is common to feel good one day and terrible the next.

It is not impossible to feel anger and envy towards other parents. This is normal and is a natural part of grieving. Give yourself time and live it.[2]

  • Rely on family and friends for help.

While grieving the loss of the baby, you may not be able to stick to your normal schedule. Seek the help of friends and loved ones to help you with household chores, caring for pets, or caring for family. You may also need them when expressing your emotions.[2]

  • Find people who have gone through this.

Sharing and comparing experiences with other women who have gone through the same thing is often reassuring. Joining a community with the same problems can help. If your feelings begin to interfere with your ability to cope in everyday life, or if your sadness doesn’t subside after a few months, talk to your doctor. You may benefit from referral to a mental health counsellor or therapist. [2]

  • Seek help from a specialist

Sometimes grief can be overwhelming. If you are struggling to cope with your feelings, remember that you are not alone. You can always turn to a professional. Talking to a psychologist can help you cope with the loss and recover faster. Depending on your needs and those of your partner, you can also go to a couple’s consultation that will help you more easily get through the experience together.

Long-term recovery

Long-term recovery from a miscarriage depends largely on your mental health and your overall emotional well-being. While your body will recover from the physical symptoms of miscarriage, it may seem that you will never be able to overcome the loss of your baby.

Moving forward certainly doesn’t mean forgetting your pregnancy.  Just as you can connect with others initially after a miscarriage, staying active in support groups can have a lasting impact. Someday your role may be reversed. You will support another parent who has suffered this loss. [2]

Deal with miscarriage with your partner

Men and women, usually, react differently to miscarriage. Often, men switch to problem-solving mode when faced with a crisis. Poor communication is a common problem. A man sees his partner crying when talking about the baby, so he learns not to bring up the topic. And since he does not raise it,  a woman may feel that she doesn’t care when she doesn’t care.

To counteract the effects of miscarriage on couples’ relationships, experts advise men to show how much they care and open and share their feelings.[3]

When is the right time to try again?

One of the most frequently asked question after a miscarriage is when you can try again. This question can be answered by your doctor and explained what will be best for you. In general, the first menstruation occurs four to six weeks after the loss. Usually, it is safe to get pregnant after a normal menstrual cycle. Sometimes, however, you may be advised to do medical tests first to determine the cause of miscarriage. It is best to wait until you are ready physically and emotionally before getting pregnant again.

Fears of re-loss are common after miscarriage. The reality is that most women who have experienced this traumatic moment have a hassle-free pregnancy afterwards. Don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor about any concerns you may have. [3]

The consequences of miscarriage can be severe. It is very important to support yourself and go through this period together. Give yourself as much recovery time as necessary. To try re-getting pregnant, make sure that you are well physically and mentally. If you have not overcome the loss, it is better to wait, because the calmer and recovered you are, the better for you and the future pregnancy.

You can read more at:

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560521/

[2] https://www.healthline.com/health/coping-with-miscarriage#physical-aftermath

[3] https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=coping-with-miscarriage-1-4036

[4] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/afterwards/

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